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[摄影] 跟着爱国看聚会!直击天津好手聚会(未删减版)

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发表于 2011-10-10 20:02 | 显示全部楼层
    I was horrible.I rolled my eyes.' Then he asked if you'd known what you were getting yourself into when you married Edward, and I said, 'Sure, she's known all about this for years, since she first came to Forks.And being so big.lived many years before I was born, during a time of plague in our world, the plague of the immortal children.mac makeup!Jacob laughed.Does it hurt.Ive clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of whats best for you, though its only hurt you.So I figured it would be harder for him.Page 100       Instead of answering, she glanced around the room like she was searching for something,cheap MAC blush, both a plea and a warning in her look.    I wrenched the door out of my way  ridiculously eager  and there he was,mac nail polish, my personal miracle.Jacob's eyes sparked with hate as he glowered at Edward again.Siobhan stared at the junior member of her coven with worried eyes.He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me.Edward.I lied, and I'm so sorry.I sat my food on the table, and then paused.Jane looked up, sudden humor in her usually dead eyes.there was no other conclusion I could come to.Where his tongue washed the venom over her skin, it sealed shut.the sand continued perfectly smooth, sloping gently toward Edward.I think I will.I spent a focused half hour on homework, but then I was through with that, too.'We've done enough damage.    She drank until the glass was entirely empty, so I pushed the second coke toward her, frowning a little.Still.Edward hissed, low in my ears.The drops were no longer falling from above.They felt so feeble in his iron strength.Edward tensed.Yes, she was worse.I yelled, slightly more breathless as I shoved everything into the bag.Search.If Im really free, I added, heavy on the skepticism, maybe we could double.Jacob was quiet for a few minutes.I didn't want to uproot my family.My problem before was more about my.For not just letting that stupid van squish me.It was about at the point when I realized the light was a house.Dr.But it was also necessary.It's just a year and a few months.She's got her eyes on the prize, right.    Mistake after mistake.He barked out a bitter laugh.he frowned as he said the word.I was entirely presentable when Charlie got home  fully dressed, hair decent, and in the kitchen putting his dinner on the table.It didn't seem like too much time passed before there were lights and the deep babble of many male voices.And I smelled appetizing.sure___  Is Edward all right.to make sure she was happy, or safe, at the least.Laurent's smile widened.I'm okay, I lied.Despite the warning he'd come to give, he must not have known.Page 105       I know, I know.On the road,mac hello kitty, I hit seventy before I made the corner.Charlie had left in such a hurry that he'd forgotten to leave the porch lamp on.It's not an issue./ i$ K6 w" f  u  u( z4 s
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发表于 2011-10-10 20:04 | 显示全部楼层
    Let's go see Emily.Jasper stepped in between them, and the three werewolves braced themselves.It was like he had heard my conversation with Jessica at lunch and was trying to prove me wrong.We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you.Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move.mac makeup!There wasn't really much in that direction.You're wounding my ego, Bella.A darker magic than I'd expected, to be sure, but magic all the same.Im just going to show you where your things are, she said innocently.Someone could run with her.I staggered two steps before it evened out again.I meant to stay in the thick forest by her house and see her off to school, but when I got into the trees, I was surprised to find the trace of her scent lingering on the trail there.    She sat there motionless for a moment, her eyes wide and stunned.Edward, I said.I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic.to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted.I screamed as I dropped through the open air like a meteor,mac cosmetics bags, but it was a scream of exhilaration and not fear.How long had she been watching us.Charlie stared at me, his eyes abruptly more focused.Such powerful emotions.He was going to take over at the bank, and so he began overseeing the different positions.Of course I remembered.I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished.I halfway smiled, too anxious to really feel amused.What did I tell you.My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house.    Don't blame me for this one.That would have to be enough to get me through the daylight hours.Relax.I stared down blankly at my hands.Think he can hear us.I turned my back on him, and a chorus of howls tore into the air around me.perfect copper skin, glistening black hair,MAC blush, eyelashes like feather dusters.And yet nearly as unappealing as the brook.Charlie asked in surprise when I came in.Even if I could only confess it to Jacob.only try.I asked, imagining Charlie trying to be attentive.I sighed.Almost happened, he amended.Only her lips moved.You know.My eyes narrowed.They  didnt know that coming here would change you.painful.Alice was able to catch a few glimpses of Irina's immediate future,mac makeup cheap, nothing too concrete.    I'll be right behind you, he promised.)  Edward had a lot of money.thing.'7He slid his phone shut.Unless nothing was normal about me.They only weigh two pounds.Who are they.He pressed his lips together, trying to hide his amusement.husband.Her smile wavered.And what are they.He hadn't been involved with the hunt that followed.Edward dropped his hand from my shoulder and twisted casually out of my arm.Not yet.I started to drive in circles, still.But that won't keep me away from Edward.Just live.Jacob hung up on me.Even though this was obviously a bad thing for her, it was amazingly liberating for me.Makes no difference to me.I kept an eye on her through the paramedics' thoughts.Then I put my other hand against her face., L6 L( O2 }* Q( O7 H! y% J
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发表于 2011-10-11 01:09 | 显示全部楼层
     P。S  本来想给你寄钱的,可是信封已经粘上了!-& C  P7 ~% s  ~( d$ b
龟儿子:“……那我回去拿好了。」-
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( I4 S7 u8 J4 \4 J17.  一个消化不良的病人向医生抱怨:我近来很不正常,吃什么拉什么,吃黄瓜拉黄瓜,吃西瓜拉西瓜,怎样才能恢复正常呢?医生沉默片刻,那你只能吃屎了。-
0 D3 G3 ^" K9 K1 r4 e) \ 男:屁声太大,没听清!-
' Y3 n# ^: V4 }7 C6 G4 X. b/ M10. 大象不小心踩到蚂蚁窝,蚂蚁们倾巢而出,纷纷爬到大象身上。大象抖抖身子,蚂蚁们都掉了下来。此时还有一只在大象的脖子上,掉下的蚂蚁大声叫到“掐死它”。-
# S4 T* v7 ?" {; I55. 看到"食堂的饭菜只能拿去喂猪,居然还给我们吃?"我想到一句话.一同学去食堂打饭,打到饭后问打饭师傅,"师傅,怎么你们沙子里面有米啊!!!"-7 B, ]3 _; I0 G% i, u! w
42. 局长与科长共乘电梯,局长放一屁后对科长说:"你放屁了"科长说:"不是我放的"不久科长被免职.局长在会上说:"屁大的事你都担待不起,要你何用?"-! f) K7 v% j5 Q+ N
     我寄给你的衣服你收到了吗?要去寄的时候我怕超重,所以把扣子剪下来放在衣服的口袋里!  -
# z# K3 L. c2 Y34. 父亲给儿子讲故事:"大伯叫小阳去砍柴,没想到小阳把大伯最爱的桃树给砍掉了,大伯看到了十分生气却没骂他,你知道为什么吗?"儿子回答道:"可能是因为小阳手里还拿着斧头.所以不敢骂他-
7 i) S$ Y5 t2 d21.龟兔赛跑...兔子很快跑到前面去了 ..乌龟看到一只蜗牛爬得很慢很慢 ..对他说: 你上来,我背你吧..然后 .. 蜗牛就上来了 ..过了一会 ..乌龟又看到一只蚂蚁.. 对他说:你也上来吧 ..于是蚂蚁也上来了。.蚂蚁上来以后..看到上面的蜗牛 .. 对他说了句"你好"你们知道蜗牛说什么吗 ??蜗牛说 :你抓紧点 ,这乌龟好快 ..-
& z2 t  Z$ z, o# M' y3 v" W 医生回答:“如果你愿意的话,我可以用慢动作给你拔。”-
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50. 蜜蜂狂追蝴蝶,蝴蝶却嫁给了蜗牛。蜜蜂不解:他哪里比我好 蝴蝶回答:人家好歹有自己的房子,哪像你住在集体宿舍-: o: ^8 H: A, \; z2 Q4 Q
41. 一男子要跳楼,刚赶回来的妻子大喊道:"亲爱的别冲动,http://xingjiqiaojiaoyu.kpbike.cn,我们的路还长着呢!"男子听后,毫不犹豫嗖地跳了下去.站在旁边的谈判专家说:"这位太太,你真不应该这样威胁他-" l+ z" D# Z: r, Q$ ]* n7 i- M4 A
-30. 母蚊子:"孩子,你怎么啦?"小蚊子哭着说:"今天小苍蝇它们欺负我,说我嗜血成性,是吸血鬼."母蚊子:"别理它,它们家也不是什么好东西,一个个都是吃屎长大的,,,,-
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60. 一条警犬看到马路上过来一条普通狗,就气势凶凶地跑去质问它:我是警犬,你是什么东西?普通狗不屑一顾地看看它说:蠢货,看清楚点,我是便衣!
  ]  P' c$ N4 e1 q9.某人养一猪,烦,弃之,然猪知归路,数弃无功。一日,其驾车转了很多弯弃猪,深夜致电家人,问:“猪归否?”答曰:“已归!”其怒吼:“让它接电话,老子迷路了!"  -
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24. 同桌感冒流鼻涕,但他忘记带手帕了,就不断把鼻涕用力吸入鼻子里。在黑板上写字的语文老师突然转过身来大嚷:“够了!给我停止! 吵死了!”全班一片安静。老师又> 说:“到底是谁上课时偷吃面条还这么大声?”-- j3 j; g) C9 g- X2 Z$ j# }0 W. [
爽阿……爽阿。’-' V5 a% l5 L7 [+ d7 n0 u, s' u
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8 J) z: }5 M9 y- s47. 老鼠去方便,见熊也在,吓得不敢吱声,熊看了老鼠一眼,说:“你掉不掉毛?”老鼠哆嗦了一下不语。熊又问:“掉不掉毛啊,你?”老鼠战战兢兢地说:“不掉……” 熊一把抓住老鼠擦擦屁股走了![把老鼠当卫生纸了..-) [7 Z' C5 p' z" e8 p# j9 `1 }( S
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. ?5 q% w& z, }" B) H于是龟儿子踏上归途………光阴似箭,岁月如梭,转眼间已过了20年,龟儿子却尚未出现。-' o* J. a% X$ |# x; |3 W$ V, |
龟儿子:“靠!我就知道你们会偷吃!骗我回去拿开罐器?我等了二十五年,终-$ ~3 v4 x+ C, o: J/ Q5 \; R1 W5 @( u

0 o4 a' n, m; u' E( F! n4 A58. 大二时,全宿舍的女生都喜欢周华建的歌,一盘磁带被大家借来借去的。 一日,上铺的女生问:我的周华建呢?下铺的女生回答:在我床上呢!两秒钟寂静无声,然后全体翻倒在床。-" ~- Q( {# s/ ~3 ^) g9 a3 Q" ~( W  p
14. 讲个故事:“从前有个太监…………………………”-, `7 w! R( H* I/ \4 H& u
59. 某男生给同班某友生取外号,叫胖猪,女生向老师哭诉,老师答应对该男生批评,第二天教师在班上讲:“某男生太没礼貌,随便给别人起外号,总不能别人象啥就叫啥吧?”-& r/ J+ J! s( \1 G4 x
突然,龟儿子从树后探出头来……-8 A: C" ^# t& L' U& n9 W
18. 某人去上海出差在街上丢了一块钱,民警说:“我们一定帮您找到”一月后那人再去,他丢钱的大街因修路都被挖了开来,他不禁叹“上海的就是实在”-
0 z! e9 _! P0 W! A) Q35. 屎壳郎和蚊子谈恋爱初次见面,屎壳郎:"你干啥的?"蚊子:"护士,打针的" 屎壳郎一把拉住蚊子的手痛哭流涕:"缘份啊,俺也是从医的,中医,捏药丸的-
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/ o# ?/ n2 S. \1 f27. 织女下凡洗澡认识了牛郎,演绎一段惊天地泣鬼神的爱情故事,这件事告诉我们:在家洗澡是没有机会的,所以洗澡一定要到外面去洗.....-
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7. 一对男女朋友坐在公园的长椅上谈恋爱,女突然想放屁。-
' i6 r8 d# K% u) v     你的观音大姐要生了,因为不知道生男的还是女的,所以暂时不知道你要当舅舅还是阿姨!  -6 L) Z6 D* j/ B3 N4 U4 t
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. J. ]2 P5 E* P+ f' b: O. ?. h! p龟 妈:“老伴……要先开饭不?我超饿说……”!!!-5 r4 A4 m( _* s( \/ E
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49. 熊猫生日,对大家说:我许了两个愿望,一个是可以把我的黑眼圈治好,另外就是希望有一张彩色照片-# h, [" }! Z1 R# ?+ ^
16. 唐僧写给孙悟空的一封信  -
$ \  Z) }' P& M8 A8. 乌龟受伤.让蜗牛去买药。过了2个小时.蜗牛还没回来。乌龟急了骂道:他妈的再不回来老子就死了!这时门外传来了蜗牛的声音:你他妈再说老子不去了!-' N: Q! o. c2 ^  z
花上你一秒钟,轻轻挥动你的小手,
+ O# f" ?2 R! `4 M7 c9 e6 b* t4. 医生问病人是怎么骨折的。病人说,我觉得鞋里有沙子,就扶着电线杆抖鞋。TMD有个混蛋经过那里,以为我触电了,便抄起木棍给了我两棍子!-7 l- _$ c2 U6 e' n3 S5 B
    继续讲故事:“下面?没了啊……”-4 Q+ ^! A: K+ p) Y0 G: o5 I
11. 一日上电脑课,有一排同学的电脑死机了。于是一位同学站起来说:“老师,电脑死机了,我们这排全死了。”这时,许多同学都说:“我们也死了。”这时老师问:“还有谁没死?”只有一位同学站起来:“我还没死!”老师奇怪的说:“全班都死了,你为什么不死?”-
5 r, l  K; ]$ o3 W2 V- j  B* z5. 某曰,龟爸、龟妈及龟儿子一家决定去郊游,http://auin.kmyfjd.cn,-
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他们带了一个山东大饼和两罐海底鸡,便出发到阳明山去了。-0 @: X4 b5 U5 w% w; A& x
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转眼就是五年,龟儿子仍未见踪迹。龟龟爸妈不管了!二老决定开动。-  K4 {/ n7 v8 u5 q( I$ v
路人不解。问道:‘?们爽什么阿。’-, s; F2 `$ C  b- B3 D
20.蚯蚓一家这天很无聊,小蚯蚓就把自己切成两段打羽毛球去了,蚯蚓妈妈觉得这方法不错,就把自己切成四段打麻将去了,蚯蚓爸爸想了想,就把自己切成了肉末。蚯蚓妈妈哭着说:"你怎么这么傻?切这么碎会死的!"蚯蚓爸爸弱弱地说:"……突然想踢足球-" ~# x$ ~0 W3 p: ?
    有人耐不住问:“下面呢?”-3 J/ D9 x' h) F% m% `
40. 从前有一个人叫阿爽。-
# j8 d$ d6 M' |9 U) }- J3 q% |37. 某人吃饭,牛肉拉面里看不到一块牛肉,便指着碗问老板:牛肉拉面怎么没有牛肉?老板淡淡地说:别太认真,难道你还指望从老婆饼里吃出个老婆吗?-" Q  r2 C- |2 F" K! C  _
此文章不转载实在可惜!
; v3 f9 M6 E1 w) g     你在花果山过得好吗?我在天庭过得很不好,由于没有地心引力,所以大便、尿、眼泪和鼻涕都掉不下来,你说苦不?  -$ Y0 g; r% {, y* v" a
龟儿子:“一定要等我回来!不可食言喔!”-
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爸爸:你命里缺金,所以取名叫鑫,就像有些人命里缺水,就取名叫淼,还有些人命里缺木就叫森。-
0 ^6 }2 u! X) {+ l$ ?44. 每次对着镜子,我心理总是自言自语的鼓励自己:"我长的很有创意,丑并不是我的本意,上天不要发脾气,我会勇敢的活下去,用我无尽的创意.来衬托这个世界的美丽!其实我真的真的很有创意...-; q: U: [8 G# Q1 y0 |, ~
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12.一猴子吃花生前都要先塞进屁股再拿出来吃。对此管理员解释道:曾有人喂它桃子,结果桃核拉不出来,猴子吓怕了,现在一定要量好再吃。-
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38. 三个老鼠分别品尝美、日、中国的酒,喝美国酒的老鼠,走了3步就倒了;喝日本酒的老鼠,走了2步就倒了;喝中国二锅头的老鼠,手拿菜刀,大喊:"TMD 猫呢?"-
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. }3 ^3 z- N" U, M& Z8 Q4 M19. 有一天一个蚂蚁正在晒太阳,突然看见大象慢悠悠的 走来 ,忙起身伸直前腿,旁边的兔子忙问你在干吗呢? 蚂蚁说:“嘘~~~~~~~ 小声点 看我拌他一脚”-
7 ?3 w8 a- m3 o: Y$ ~0 z+ r6 m8 M1 x: y43. 一懒猫疯狂地追求一老鼠,终于结婚,婚后猫对老鼠百般苛护,老鼠很快变胖,老鼠很感动:"亲爱的为什么对我这么好呀!"猫嘿嘿笑道:"等你再胖一点就知道了-
. X2 a( K' J4 f  \$ Y5 b9 g2 j. b 对男的说:我学部谷鸟叫,你听象不像。-
" H% K1 I2 `& y+ f% O) b% h9 Q结果,却发现没带开罐器!-
! d9 c9 f# O6 T# M6 u29. 一人上班时老是放响屁,同事忍不住说他:"你能不能不出声啊?" 然后便看见他坐在那抖个不停.同事奇怪的问他在干什么,他答:"我不出声,现在已经调成振动的了!!!"-
' K0 y: @. a$ G. } 于是,女在“布谷布谷”的鸟叫声的掩护下爽快地放了一个响屁。-
% M7 k% Z7 K3 L+ T4 f23. 有个人到河边钓鱼先穿了个树叶~半天没鱼上钩,他又换了块面包~一样半天没鱼上钩~没办法他只好去换蚯蚓~一样还是半天没鱼上钩~~他气愤之下~掏出100rmb 摔入水中大骂:"要吃什么!自己去买"!!!-
- I# k$ e8 ^, V4 v  s13.小明:“爸爸,我是不是傻孩子啊?”-) a! u3 M: o2 \4 ]( t1 C" G
3.一醉汉不慎从三楼掉下,引来路人围观,一警察过来:发生什么事?醉汉:不清楚,我也是刚到。 % ?  w4 M3 |* _% D
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56. 女孩必看的小故事:蝙蝠在上帝那投胎.上帝说可以答应你三个条件,蝙蝠说"我上辈子黑黑的,所以下辈子我要雪白的身体,也要有翅膀,我吸惯了血.还让我吸血吧"上帝说,好我答应,大家知道他下辈子是什么吗?"卫生巾".哈哈.-! w: d* {/ f% B
54. 夜空中一颗流星划过,我连忙许愿,希望你能变得漂亮些.谁知刚许完心愿,流星"嗖"的一下返回来,http://occv.leyizs.cn,对我说"大哥,你成心为难我是不是?!!-  g/ d' {4 e% \+ `0 @1 C
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     我这封信写得很慢,因为我知道你看字不快!  -
; s6 w. H) T: o% f( v于被我等到了吧!我最恨人家骗我了!-
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* k. |5 p2 r  @* q0 _52.生产队买了只公驴,可是没几天就死了.刚好母驴发情了.生产队的员工就打电话去在外地出差的生产队队长."队长啊,母驴发情,可是公驴已经死了.是先买头公驴还是等你回来?"-
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( V; C; \3 g, O( U/ k% o25. 病人对牙科医生说:“你真会赚钱,只用3秒钟就赚了3美元。”-
( ^8 m3 v+ h# _* {- m46. 唐增赶走悟空之后又遇到妖怪,他只好念紧箍咒想呼悟空回来救命,不久空中传来一个的声音:"对不起.您呼叫的用户不在服务区,请稍后再试.-* r; B1 t& S' F# X+ r# k; S
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45. 以前我买了两只小狗,叫"脸"的给你,叫"屁股"的给自己!可没两天"脸"不幸死于车祸以后每当我看见"屁股"就想起你的"脸"!如果你的"脸"还在,现在也有"屁股"那么大了!!!-% X$ {+ b& l5 u. K
龟 爸:“不行!我们答应儿子的!嗯……再等他五年,不来就不管他了!”-5 {3 b# ^" i; Q8 _( a
33. 一犯人执行**决,子弹是"某某县"生产,质量不好,第一**没放出,接着又开第二**...第三**......这时犯人大哭:"你掐死我吧,太吓人了!"-. B& `. y5 x: b2 h8 }: P
28. 小明上完厕所回到教室跟老师说:"厕所有好多蚂蚁" 老师忽然想到蚂蚁的英文ant这个单词,于是测试小明:"蚂蚁怎么说?" 小明一脸茫然……说:"蚂蚁他……什么也没说……"-
$ f9 K2 J- b- _5 Y9 I1 ]0 D- Q26. "自恋"就是下辈子我一定要投胎做女人,然后嫁个象我这样的男人;"绝望"就是饭馆吃饭点了两菜,吃第一个:"世上还有比这更难吃的吗?!"吃第二个"靠!还真有!""无语"就是法官问:你为什么印**?罪犯说:真钞我不会印-
) P+ K3 m" Q0 x6 D7 V  ?39. 在餐馆里吃饭时,一位等了很长时间的顾客呼唤服务员问到"我点的红烧鱼怎么还没做好?""请您再稍等片刻,先生.""怎么?还要等?"顾客生气了,说到"难道你们的鱼是现钓的吗?"-
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爸爸:“傻孩子,你怎么会是傻孩子呢……”-
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苦爬十年,终于到了!他们席地而坐,卸下装备准备吃饭。-: X6 {9 Q' B2 j9 e& h6 r. Z
龟 爸:“乖儿子!快!爸妈等你回来一起开饭,快去快回!”-; J! U0 [' j2 N/ d& m( P2 \4 L
53. 小屎壳郎:妈妈,我们为什么要吃屎呢? 屎壳郎妈妈:这孩子,吃饭的时候怎么能说这么恶心的事-  t; F3 u8 v( Y' f
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. F" h- I; Q' v! P) p  U4 ^, z9 w15. 有个人刚学外语,这天在街上走,不小心踩了一个老外的脚,那人急忙说:“I'm sorry.”老外也礼貌的说了句:“I'm sorry too.”那人一听,急忙说了句:“I'm sorry three.”老外一听傻了,问:“What are you sorry for?”那人无奈的说:“I'm sorry five.”-: o( b5 x2 \6 q4 d+ e/ ^' x  i. \
     我们这里的牛肉面很好吃,改天你来了我们一起到西街的餐厅去吃火锅!  -
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32. 儿子:"娘,今天我数学测验不及格" 母亲:"为什么啊,什么题." 儿子:"老师问我2*3=?我说=6." 母亲:"这没错啊,然后呢." 儿子:"然后老师又问我3*2=?" 母亲:"这TMD不是一样的么!" 儿子:"我也是这么说的..-
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5 k* u8 z+ i/ d- f% \& D& \51. 有一天一头大象在洗澡。突然有一只蚂蚁走过来对这大象说。你站起来。打响就站起来。蚂蚁!你坐下去吧。大象不解问蚂蚁你想干什么呀。一会站起来一会坐下去的。蚂蚁回答说!我的内裤丢了我看看是不是你偷穿-
0 S; C+ x9 p, \) h" Y0 g+ B他死掉了。-- p0 i) T' P; e+ j
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9 o7 `3 P( A9 o: i* u2 O( R2. 毕业后七年,总算接了个大工程,造一根三十米烟囱,工期两个月,造价三十万,不过要垫资。总算在去年年底搞完了。今天人家去验收,被人骂得要死,还没有钱拿。妈的!图纸看反了,人家是要挖一口井!.
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     我们这个礼拜下了2次雨,第一次下了4天第二次下了3天!  -
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     不早了就写到这里了,有空到我这里玩,记得不要多喝水,不然到了这里尿不出来很难受的!  -6 k7 l% E! B( {- c7 C
22. 有一天,一家失火了,爸爸妈妈都逃出来了,只剩下一个儿子还在里面。妈妈很紧张的在屋外大喊:"儿子阿.....你在干麻 ......都失火了还不出来 ...."儿子回答 :"我在穿袜子阿..妈妈又说,"都失火了还穿什么袜子...."过了五分钟,儿子还没出来......妈妈又紧张的喊,"儿子阿,你到底在干什么?快出来 ~ 都失火了,还待在里面....."儿子说,"我在脱袜子阿........-; @1 l# n! e, }7 a% T9 ~
小鑫:爸爸,您说那郭晶晶姐姐命里缺什么呢???-
8 Y2 t! J7 _/ ^& l     亲爱的悟空:  -( R% [2 K) T9 S, c/ A
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. O( J% V! h6 N2 {8 @6 T. M& ^拿出大饼正准备开吃……-( B# ]% [$ F% P. Q+ f$ I3 A" I# b
1.一天,牛给驴出了一个难题,问“蠢”字下面两只虫子哪只是公的,哪只是母的。驴绞尽脑汁,还是答不上来。牛骂道:真是头蠢驴,男左女右嘛!   -3 Z/ ], U, Z% i4 `
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家人痛哭流涕:‘爽死了……爽死了!!  -" t: u+ |, d4 {$ @7 x
31. 我花8万买了个西周陶罐,昨儿到<鉴宝>栏目进行鉴定,专家严肃地说:"这哪是西周的?这是上周的!-
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48. 刚才和朋友聊天,其中有谈到你,知道吗?我和他们吵了起来,还差点动手打起来,因为他们有的说你像猴子,有的说你像猩猩,实在太过分了!根本没有把你当猪看!-
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9 n( U1 U5 I6 m3 S' g出殡那天。-
: S( m* @  _1 X4 i 女:象不像不谷鸟叫?-6 P; f4 c+ k! h
57. 餐厅苍蝇对厕所苍蝇 说:你整天追腥逐臭,我整天吃香喝辣,过来吧!厕所苍蝇:道不同不相为谋, 吃在好有啥用,光屁屁美女你见过几个?-$ x/ X9 l3 _1 ]
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6. 小鑫:爸爸,为什么我的名字里面三个金呢?-
, P0 Y+ Z2 I& n0 w36. 一男人总找不到女朋友,无奈就去算命.算命大师说:你,前半生注定没女人;不得 那人眼睛一亮:那我后半生应该有吧? 算命师说:哎,到了后半生你就习惯了.-
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他的家人哭喊:‘-
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发表于 2011-10-11 10:52 | 显示全部楼层
好得不能再好的好帖
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发表于 2011-10-11 13:18 | 显示全部楼层
    This is a bit much to deal with, Leah.He smiled, wrinkling his nose a little.He doesnt trust your bloodsuckers.He unwound the towel and, when I reached out to take the cloth, he laid his hand in mine.11.There weren't enough hands, enough eyes, to keep track of half of what the patients needed.she left no prints behind her.fake raybans!The Romanians' presence irritates them.I shuddered at the memory.Like I do.He stroked the tips of his fingers across my right cheek.I cant let him go.there are emotions, scenes, and plot threads in this novel that were born from Muse songs and would not exist without their genius  Also Linkin Park, Travis, Elbow,MAC foundation, Coldplay, Marjoric Fair, My Chemical Romance, Brand New, The Strokes,Mac concealer, Armor for Sleep, The Arcade Fire, and The Fray have all been instrumental in staving off the   (.    Hello, Alice, he greeted her.She struggled to say my name in a casual tone.I wasn't sure how to explain.I knew I should be, but I couldn't feel the right kind of fear.The membrane around the baby is too hard.sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort.Hold on.And we'll be there soon.Everything in my world was about him.Just call me whenever you can.Could you stay.Bella, you're behaving like you're decades rather than days old.This, too, he never relaxed.You know the rules,ray ban daddy-o sunglasses, then.You'll never catch me betting against Alice.Edward Cullen is staring at you, she whispered in the Swan girl's ear, adding a giggle.It seems like extreme behavior, considering the way you live here.    So how does it fit in with the Cullens.I'd thought I'd been fooling him.Aro's eyes were bemused.I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me.My head was spinning at the rapid change in direction our conversation had taken.And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out, too.The word, and my tone, obviously caught him off guard.So I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball.Her chin jutted out, and her expression was suddenly stubborn.Thank you, I murmured.Ms.I assumed.One moment it seemed that I was listening to Carlisle in my memory, looking at his face, and then a moment later I was looking at a gray, barren field and smelling  the thick scent of burning incense in the air.    Alices forehead puckered.He sighed.I had no parallels to draw, no comparisons to make.I ignored my truck and started east on foot, angling across Charlie's yard toward the ever-encroaching forest.In a flash of heat, I was on four legs again.Jakes dad told us the old legends and it was like.I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it.I heard him stomp furiously down the stairs.I'd like to hear you play, I volunteered.Just scared.He shrugged indifferently.that I noticed, anyway.I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time.so sorry, Bella, he whispered while I stared at the bruises.We could try another method, Carlisle said quietly.Gran's expression surprised me.6 n: F" h3 K! R- j: q* n. N% }
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发表于 2011-10-11 14:13 | 显示全部楼层
    What is it.Go away.Mike, I think you should tell her yes, Bella said in a gentle voice.I moved even more slowly than he had, careful not to make one unexpected move.I watched four volleyball games running simultaneously.I'll make a loop.Or maybe I shouldn't encourage her.Nothing, really.He was silent for a moment, staring out the window into the rain.merrell shoes outlet!A normal person would be gloating.In that one circumstance, the matter of parents, my luck could not be denied.So we were also both laughing when the house came into view.Fine, I agreed.Which, in her book, it probably did.I thought about things that might have inspired her.I made plans with Angela today.    It was my job to set it right.The victims are racially diverse: Caucasians, African Americans, Hispanics and Asians.You know that I was wondering about the fetus's genetic makeup, Jacob.If he sticks with this decision.I saw Jasper admiring it.Sure, sure.Even when we first met Tanyas clan in Denali  all those females.I don't know.I hadn't made this decision yet.he wanted space in case he had to phase quickly.Or Jacob's.she griped.He bought me dinner, and then he drove me home.The fish were biting.He sighed and leaned toward me.In the mirror my expression was no longer  bewildered.I teased.I glared up at my father,wholesale MAC eyeliner, fresh tears in my eyes for what I was about to do.Im not trying to prove something.    We are going to go see Alice.There you are, Bella, Mike called in relief, waving his arm over his head.It was the truth, it was a lie.Edward smiled at her.Hmm.Shallow breathing, that was all.That's mine and I want it back, Alice told me.Dont say that to him.10.He held my hands between his.Wed have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers.Nice to meet you, Max.Yeah, it was really stupid,wholesale MAC brushes, he agreed, drops of rain shaking free of his hair as he nodded.Charlie raised an eyebrow.She laughed and then gestured grandly toward the white sands stretching to the blue water.Were there twenty of you.Alice was the last to come in, and her eyes were focused on something far away.Really.Her eyes squinted.I closed my eyes and leaned into him, hiding my face against his chest.    You only have to ask.Were well able to handle anything.If Bella was actually there in the clearing, Jasper explained to her, it would drive them insane.And being so big.Edward squeezed my shoulders sympathetically,fake Ray Ban Craft, and Jacob shot an apologetic glance at me across the room.Well, it bothers me.Not even hearing you scream in pain.All she would have been able to see was ferns and forest.Bella seemed to be finding something amusing, too.even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy.Thats debatable, he disagreed.Not what Alice had seen coming for her.I expected her physical response correctly this time: her breathing held steady, her heart kept its even pattern.Not this weekend.I shook my head in doubt, though my heart throbbed at his words and I wanted so badly to believe them.: D+ o" q! `4 w1 a- N  s
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发表于 2011-10-13 20:29 | 显示全部楼层
    I tried to concentrate as he explained the lab we would be doing today.Even the ones I didn't really know yet.Even after running all night, I was having a hard time making my brain shut up long enough to fall asleep, but Seth's rhythmic run was helping.Then what is.and twisted it back into place in her untidy bun so that it wouldn't distract me again.merrell shoes!Not you, I whispered.Id had a chance to concentrate on this  as Id gazed at the moon through the clouds and rested against a werewolf  and I knew I would not panic again.How are we doing.Mason.Lead paint.He poked around in the cavity.Edward pulled me out of the way.I pretended I didn't hear that.    Is that okay.2008 Stephenie Meyer  104  later when I would have no way of knowing the outcome.And we'll gather again.I asked, trying not to look like an idiot as I fluttered my eyelids the way I'd seen girls do on TV.Jacob had changed radically in the last weeks since I'd seen him.Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heart-breakingly beautiful you are tonight.Technically,wholesale fake sunglasses, the vampire rules would remain unbroken.Gently.Please.Oh.Yes, she would be very curious tonight.I frowned.I asked,cheap mac cosmetics, unwilling.There was a little path of flat stones, amethyst in the night, that led up to the quaint arched wooden door.The movie began, lightening the darkness just a bit.She is, I agreed wholeheartedly.    Sure.She had said that I didn't need to see Gran that way, to remember her that way, rather than alive.A few minutes later, Emmett jogged over to where I was waiting for him.No.She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes finally focused on my face.I laughed once, because he sounded as pleased as Charlie had.A smile flickered across Edwards tense face.Alice Cullen.Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy.No.I had to stop the van, too, but again, nobody saw that.I had four legs now, and I was flying.Jacob checked the compass every few minutes, keeping us in a straight line with one of the radiating spokes of his grid.I stared into his suddenly burning golden eyes.    I'd never wanted to deserve trust more than in this moment, when I had to destroy all possibility of it.Is that something I might get to see.I warned you I would be listening, I reminded her.Ostentatious,knock off ray bans, he muttered.John Dowling had earned a reputation for his pricing.Hi, one of the men called, his tone both confident and a bit sarcastic.Somewhere, in a corner of my mind, I felt bad about that.My legs seemed to move slower and slower as I fought my way through the callous crowd, but the hands on the huge clock tower didn't slow.The engine was still running, roaring as it idled.I have to leave, he whispered.Please.But that would entail leaving her here alone, unprotected in the dark night.Your eyes, she said, her tone offhand.
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发表于 2011-10-13 21:40 | 显示全部楼层
    That's the whole point, Edward.The five people whose lives were over, whose families were mourning now.I didnt want him to die  so much that, even though I hated this life, I was selfish enough to ask Carlisle to change him for me.How was your day.I understand.Illogical or not, I brooded over the memory his peaceful face, trying to come up with some answer, some way to shelter him, while the sky slowly turned gray.replica ray ban sunglasses!He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn.Alice's trilling laugh rang through the room, and we all smiled to hear that music once more.What could he know.My neighbor giggled in embarrassment, looking at the table like I did.    I meant to sleep in, but an unusual brightness woke me.Yeah, I sort of thought it might be like that.You and Jacob are pretty close, arent you.Not absolutely unique, Edward disagreed.Ow,false eyelashes, Mike thought again, massaging his arm.some fluid that was thick and white, not clear.Maybe he should have thought about all this before he knocked her up with the life-sucking monster.What I mean is,mac wholesale cosmetics, she's changed.the tears started when I pictured her kind, lovely face.He laughed with a bit of effort,mac bags, and then winced.That's all I'm asking for, I said, and stretched up on my toes so that I could press my lips to his.Jared didn't seem surprised by her hostility.Well, better than fine, actually.I couldn't hear any birds, either.    His lips froze, and I could almost hear the click in his head as he put together my words and my actions.Emmett, I thought.Was I dying again, then.Shh, I shushed him halfheartedly.Just curious.While it was clear that she knew that there was something wrong with me, was not as serious as it could have been.It.He pulled the old afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over me so I wouldn't freeze beside his body.He gestured to the trees in front of us just as Jacob stepped warily from their shadows.He looked like my Jacob.I hoped, for their sakes, that they were fast.Jacob laughed, and I spun to stare at him wildly.Made it more bearable.except at mealtime.She's dead on her feet, Esme scolded Edward.    Are you okay.Me either.I rather wanted to leave her with something of myself.Raw as I was, I knew that if this were between her and me, I would obliterate her.He smiled my favorite crooked smile, but it was wrong.Just a short leap away from me, she looked away, turning her attention from me to Edward.You know how I am with tools.Jake.Protect our families.She didnt look at me, she was staring away.I'd seen enough movies and TV shows to know that this wasn't how it worked.Youwould, if you weren't just like the rest of them.He handed me the jacket, interrupting my ogling.Carlisle and Alice and the rest.I felt a little high.From the way his eyelids drooped, I was sure he'd be unconscious momentarily.4 F' V% d" F, L8 u* m  K) e# t3 B/ l
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发表于 2011-10-16 09:29 | 显示全部楼层
太牛了,写此帖的人心思缜密,才高八斗,学富五车,上知天文,下知地理,古往今来,无人匹敌。
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发表于 2011-10-16 15:17 | 显示全部楼层
    Same as ever.He was right.I dont want you to feel like you have to hurry back because Im sitting around waiting for you.Emmett was sitting beside her, one hand reached under the Jeep toward her.I demanded.Emily is Leahs cousin.My smile faded.I have to talk to Carlisle.Angela wasn't much more composed.replica ray bans!By the time a bruise showed I'd usually forgotten how I'd come by it.What if someone gets by you.When he didn't, I guessed that he might still be sleeping.We have to get you away from here.See.I was sleeping in the blue room now.dangerous.The psychic saw something.Condition.Her cheeks were flushed, with anger this time.Cmon, Bells, Jacob said in my ear.    They are coming to the north end of the clearing now.Every minute since yesterday morning.I stood in the hallway for a minute, listening to the sound of their car as it backed out and drove away.He's a good guy.It grew into its own force, like another entity in the car.I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school.Okay, then.Thank you for continuing to create my favorite writing music.Sulpicia Caius.I suppose thats part of your charm.Just because they're newcomers,mac wholesale, people have to talk.I trailed off, listening to the bell-tone of my voice again.She wanted me with her, not Mike Newton.His hands disappeared for a second, and I heard the refrigerator slam shut.Im not saying you dont love him.    He wasn't expecting this.I've got a dilemma, Carlisle.He doesn't see her that way.Riley.Bella.They do for me.While he argued,cheap MAC eyeliner, he packed.He seemed to know what everyone around him was thinking.Youre unbelievable.Bella, you don't know.Mike leaned away.My leaping bounds stretched longer, and soon he was trying to keep up with me.I didn't understand the edge in her voice.Hes still your friend.I hurried past the lanterns and the roses, now unwelcome reminders.Air hissed up my throat,wholesale mac eyeshadow, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees.Whatever makes her happy, I said to myself.I tapped my finger against the thick padding of his parka.I shuddered.I'll probably warm up again in no time.    I tried again.We did something wrong.The other was in the creatures arms, his mouth at her throat.For a long moment, he didn't say anything.I'll always want you, I warned him.Images of flowing black robes crept into my unwilling mind, and I flinched away from them.Is that one of those wolf things.My relief at his words was overshadowed by the excruciating pain in my heart.The phone rang four times, followed by a beep.I glanced at the clock.When I did think of Jake, I always felt guilty for not thinking of him more.I was sitting home, missing him more every hour.Charlie's blank expression told me how off my voice was.There was no brief fragment of time in which the action occurred.Somewhere too far for Sam to come after them.
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